Mommy Guilt Lives Here…

As much as I hate to admit it, I suffer from mommy guilt. There are several reasons for this, and I probably shouldn’t feel bad but I often do. Is it normal to feel that you aren’t always being the best parent? I assume it is, but it will make me feel better if others come and actually TELL me it is! :)

The biggest thing that gives me mommy guilt is working from home. You would think that getting to stay home with my son would make me feel awesome – and it does, most of the time. Every now and then, however, I feel the negatives of the situations.

I sometimes feel like I work too much, which means less time spent with the kiddo. When I try to sneak in work during the day, I feel guilty that I am not giving him the attention he deserves – though he gets tons…from me, his daddy, and his grandparents (he’s the only grandchild).

I also feel guilty that he isn’t getting the social interactions that he needs. He’s 2 1/2 and there aren’t any local play groups or anything like that for him to attend. He doesn’t get much time with kids his age, with the exception of his 3 year old cousin he sees maybe once a month. James and I have discussed day care numerous times, but we want to wait until he’s old enough for preschool (and we are more financially able to pay for someone to watch our kid).

The kiddo is a very picky eater, and I feel like I fail as a mom every time he shoves away a plate after eating no more than 3 bites. He has to be hungry since he does this during at least two meals each day! When he does eat, it seems like it’s the same 2-4 foods every time.

I need to find more foods that he will eat, or create some recipes that he will eat that hide meat and veggies. That’s the foods he hates the most, but he needs those nutrients. I know picky eating is probably just a phase though – and it’s one I am DEFINITELY ready to be over!

We can never be a perfect parent, but do you ever feel a little guilty about that fact?

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  1. says

    While I love the convenience of the internet and increased communication, one thing I hate about modern life is the temptation for comparison that leads to the feelings you’re describing. Think about all the adults you know and the many different situations in which they grew up – and they’re all fine, right? Our parents didn’t have to worry about what everyone else was doing – and that was probably healthier! So don’t worry about “shoulds” – just live your life the way that works for you and set the guilt aside!

    • Kecia says

      You are totally right, Megan! The internet can be beneficial, but it can also be negative in the way we think and compare. All in all, my son is smart and healthy – I just remind myself of that when I start to feel that way!

  2. Sadie says

    Mommy guilt is so tough sometimes. But we need to remember that our kids will keep growing even if they don’t eat green veggies everyday!

    • Kecia says

      So true…I couldn’t tell you the last time my son ate a green veggie! :) He’s healthy though, so that’s all that really matters.

  3. says

    I go through at least once a month feeling like leaving my blog altogether for the exact reasons you mentioned. I stayed home to be with my kids more, and I often feel like working from home is defeating that. But I realized it’s up to me, if I want to work less and focus on them more then that’s something I have to do, and I have been doing it a lot more. If I don’t get to posting on a social network then so be it, I played hide and go seek instead and to me thats more important. :)

  4. Tammy S says

    I think we all suffer from this at one time or another. It seems to go in cycles. You feel bad because you work from home. I feel bad because I work outside the home. I think what it boils down to is if you child feels loved. By the sounds of it your doing a good job.

  5. says

    Both of my kids are picky eaters. My son (7) is starting to come around and try new things but he still has a hard time. MY daughter (5) is absolutely obstinate when it comes to anything other than grilled cheese, hot dogs or chicken fingers. At least she DOES like raw veggies, but if we try to give her cooked veggies, or any kind of meat other than hot dogs or chicken nuggets, she just sits there and whines about it.

  6. says

    Kudos on getting your son to eat three bites! My son’s main source of nourishment between 2 and 4 years old was milk. It took him going to a home daycare provider when he was 3 to actually eat a meal. The only full meal of the day btw. He is seven and fine. Still only eats a few staple items and thankfully veggies play a big role in his diet but he will not eat what the rest of us is eating. hang in there!

  7. says

    I get the mom guilt often. I just stop, and tell myself I can get it done later. The kids and husband are more important. Although I do get a lot of support from my husband he needs attention, just as much as the kids do.

    Lately, I’ve been doing a much better job at balancing it all.

  8. says

    I feel for you on the picky eating (and then it was potty trainiing) was so frustrating. It got better with age. He is still very picky, but at least now he’ll eat 5 or 6 different protein types and not just chicken.
    We are so hard on ourselves..we do the best we can!

  9. says

    We’ve all had mommy guilt. Being a single parent to 5. I think I actually had it oozing out my pores.
    We had a regular old fashion Dr for our family. My son was and still is at the age of 32 a very picky eater. I would cook two separate meals. One for the family and one for him.
    The Dr told me to stop doing that and have at least one item on the table I knew he liked. Make sure he took a vitamin and let the rest fall where it may.
    Good luck with your little one.

  10. says

    I work from home, and I totally get what you’re saying. I’m here, so my son thinks “why can’t we play?” I feel like I’m always telling him “sorry, I’m working.” Plus, working from home means I feel like I’m always at work, so I tend to overdo it.

  11. says

    I think we all feel guilty from time to time, but they are loved, and being able to play independently is a good thing. I love to watch my kids using their imaginations :)

  12. says

    I suffer from mommy guilt and wife guilt. I know I shouldn’t but I think it’s a sign that we care a lot. Not that those who don’t feel it don’t care, but we are focusing on it. Though I suspect almost every parent has it at one point or another.

  13. says

    When our oldest was 18 months he got to the point he wouldn’t even stay with his daddy so we found a daycare that would keep him 2 half days a week. It became wonderful alone time for mommy and he learned to be around other kids. We couldn’t afford much but we found one who was willing to work with us. Pre-school is not far off you though and it is amazing how adaptable kids are.

  14. says

    You know I go through the same battles in my head. I usually work way more than I should, even though everyone else thinks I’m just “playing on the internet.”

  15. says

    I had the picky eaters with all 3 of the boys. My middle son is still picky! I feel guilty sometimes too, about not spending enough time with them. It’s hard. I’m not sure if it ever gets easier, but maybe in some ways it will.

  16. says

    I know what you mean about working from home sometimes making you feel more guilty! I work from home FT (outside of blogging) and it’s wonderfully positive – except for when your sweet child looks at you and says “Mama play baby dolls?” just as you have to close yourself into the office for a conference call. Then you can hear them crying on the other side of the door and it breaks your heart!

    I also have a picky eater on my hands; most of the time the volume she eats is at least acceptable, but there are some days it’s all I can do to get her to eat a yogurt. Our doctor said sometimes kids are hungry and sometimes they’re not. She’s not going to let herself starve, so try not to worry too much (easier said than done!). But it made me feel a litttttle bit better.

  17. says

    Someone posted below about the comparison idea now that the internet shows us all the glamorous faces of everyone we think is doing it better. I think we all have Mommy Guilt though and I think we all try to put out our best faces so no one sees it. We just have a hard time realizing we’re all in the same ocean, just in different colored boats. Besides, could you imagine if all of our kids wound up the same? The horror!

  18. Carol L says

    When I was raising my 7 kids I felt it all the time, was I giving them each enough time etc etc. They all grew up to be loving, honest and compassionate adults. We can only do the best we can. As for the little one being picky, my daughter is going crazy at this point with my 3 year old grandson. He eats maybe 2 or 3 things, when he feels like it. :) It’s a terrible phase they all go through and unfortunately, the mommies feel it the most. :)
    Carol L


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